“A funny and wise book.” —Patricia Nolan Stein - full review
The best way to understand these essays is to read some samples (in the list below and at the Amazon entry). Each was designed to fit on a single 8½ x 11" printed sheet, buff in color. The one-page length was a deliberate creative constraint, forcing the author to be concise. Each essay in the ebook includes both an image of the original newsletter and the complete text in standard ebook format. Although it technically fits on one page, the original type was small, so each essay fills several book pages. The entire collection clocks in at 55,000 words—almost as long as a novel but with a lot more meaningful content.
The essays were originally displayed on this website, but now the complete collection is available only as an Amazon ebook. Read the free samples, and if you like them you may want to invest $5 in the whole series. Now available on Amazon Kindle (released April 28, 2013), including a substantial free preview. (Click on "Look Inside")
Note: You do not need a Kindle device to read a Kindle book. Amazon provides a free Kindle app so the book can be read on any device.
Although each essay was designed as a single printed page, the original type was small, so each corresponds to several book pages. The entire collection clocks in at 55,000 words, which is almost as long as a novel. Each essay in the ebook includes both an image of the original newsletter and the complete text in standard ebook format.
Also see Glenn's other ebook: The Case Against Marriage.
|#1: Miracle Elixir Discovered in Spain|
#2: Ban Gay Marriage! (heterosexual marriage, too!)
#3: Sex Fraud
#4: Teenage Insanity Explained at Last!
|#5: The Problem of Creeping Commitment|
#6: Reality Sucks – Get Used to It!
#7: Preening and Nesting Behavior of the Human Female: A Study
#8: The Tragedy of Success
|#9: Death by Sarcasm|
#10: Male Sports Addiction: A Clinical Profile
#11: Invasion of the Mind Parasites
#12: KAPU! - Sensible Reforms to Criminal Law
|#13: Consumer Crap and Why It Happens|
#14: Hubris: The Tragic Disease of Success
#15: Bottom Up! – Our Patented Personal Success System
#16: Mindless Entertainment Wasting Our Planet
|#17: So You’re Having an Existential Crisis (Welcome to the Club)|
#18: Love and Enabling
#19: What You Need. What You Don’t.
#20: Kill the Experts! Liberate Yourself from Bad Advice
|#21: God Finally Smites Vegas|
#22: Words Don’t Work
#23: The Paradox of Protection
#24: Surviving the Great Forest Fire
|#25: Walking Gently on this Earth|
#26: Paranoia: Our Enemy Within
#27: Playing God
#28: Tabula Rasa: The Virtues of Nothingness
|#29: Theory Meets Reality and… CRASH! Reality Always Wins.|
#30: The Setup
#31: The Destructive Power of Puppies
#32: Fight the Evil of the Capitalist Commercial Agenda
|#33: Dorothy and the Ruby Slippers|
#35: Quality vs. Crap: The Enduring Struggle of Life
#36: Taste Inflation: Why We Can Never Get Enough
|#37: Accept Life! It’s the only game in town.|
#38: Triage: Doing What You Can With What You Have
#39: The Tyranny of Law
#40: Responsibilities of the Victim
|#41: My Friends Are Not Your Friends|
#42: In Defense of Placebos
#43: “No Pain, No Gain”–not true!
#44: The Secret of Eternal Youth
|#45: Work Sucks!|
#46: The Fallacy of Justice
#47: Dark Star Duet: A Model of Dysfunctional Marriage
#48: Escape from Narcissism
|#49: The Handicap Principle|
#50: The Tragedy of Success (II)
#51: In Defense of Stereotypes
#52: The Shamanism of Luxury
|#53: Why Do You Believe?|
#54: The Fallacy of “Commitment”
#55: Puffery: The Legal Way to Lie
#56: Boundaries: Your Defense Against Chaos
|#57: The Tragic Burden of Stuff|
#58: Russian Roulette: Childbirth
#59: The Limits of Charity
#60: The Burden of Choice
|#61: The Dilemma of the Public Restroom|
#62: Fundamentals of Mental Nutrition
#63: Truth, Lies and Discretion
#64: The Meaning of Life Explained at Last!
|#65: Taking Control|
#66: Life is Logarithmic!... Not Linear
#67: Curiosity: The Hallmark of Intellect
#68: The Secret of Great Performances
This is a collection of 68 one-page philosophy essays written between May 2008 and March 2010. They cover a wide range of existential topics, including marriage, sex, creativity, death, law, gender, addiction, teenagers, paranoia, luxury, wealth, charity, success, boundaries, curiosity… in short, just about anything relevant to human existence. Each essay is a stand-alone work, so you can read them in any order. Each is numbered according to the order it was written, but I have brought a few of the best ones to the front of the book. (I have received the most positive comments on “The Responsibilities of the Victim” so I have placed that first.) The remainder I have left in sequential order as written.
Each essay was designed to be printed on a single sheet of 8-1/2-by-11-inch buff-colored paper. Although I rarely printed these essays myself, the one-page format was intended to provide a creative constraint—like a limerick, haiku or 3-minute song. Working within an unbreakable limit forced me to be concise and more efficient. Most of these essays were written within a few hours, usually first thing in the morning and uploaded to my website by noon.
Each essay was an adventure! In most cases, I would go to bed at night deciding only that I would write an essay in the morning. I did not choose the subject until waking. Sometimes the idea came to me just as I awoke, or I might have had to stare at the ceiling for a few minutes. I never suffered from a lack of ideas, only a lack of time to write them, and the one-page format gave me an opportunity to crank them out quickly.
My Kilroy Café essays were a follow-on to the similarly formatted Family Court Chronicles newsletters I published starting in 2005. Those periodic essays reported in on divorce, delinquency and child welfare in Las Vegas, often with a philosophical slant but always tied to the court. Kilroy Café was intended to address more universal themes applicable to everyone. A few of the Family Court newsletters, like “Ban Gay Marriage,” were later reprinted in Kilroy Café. As I wrote more Kilroy Café essays, I wound down my Family Court project.
I made up the name “Kilroy Café” at the time of the first issue (May 26, 2008). The name was intended to have no great meaning in itself. It was supposed to be a blank brand, like “Amazon” or “Starbucks,” which I would fill with my own meaning. It was loosely inspired by the “Kilroy Was Here” graffiti left around the world by American G.I.’s in World War II. Kilroy was a wanderer who turned up in a lot of different places, and I was traveling a lot myself. Most of these essays, however, have nothing to do with travel.
I have resisted the temptation to edit these essays as I assemble them for this book. Apart from correcting a few minor typos and grammar glitches, these essays are the same as they appeared when originally released. I have also resisted the temptation to delete a few of these essays that seem repetitive or that I don’t feel are up to my standards. Because the essays are numbered, readers might be upset by missing ones, so I have left them in place.
Glenn Campbell, April 2013
ResourcesFor other philosophy writings by Glenn, see:
Order the full series of 68 Kilroy Cafe essays as an Amazon Kindle ebook for only $5.
Visit the Book's Website or the Amazon entry